I am starting to consider my job as a rebound job. It isn’t a negative opinion. This job involves less drama-prone colleagues, and that is a welcome doldrum.
A problematic workplace can wear you down. It wore me down badly. It was a new low in the list of terrible things that happened in the past few years. I was doing something I liked. However, doing work you enjoy doing becomes less enjoyable when you are working with people you can’t connect to in a positive way. Every technical discussion ended up in drama and grief, with someone walking out, with someone threatening to fire, with someone threatening to quit. I felt that I had walked into a soap opera, more than once. All those clever comments about women behaving out-of-bounds at a certain time of the month will now always bring me back to those days, when I was surrounded by men and could only watch aghast as they tore each other apart over work. While I keep cordial relations with all of them still, I hadn’t realised until a few weeks ago that my morale was on the sunnier side, thanks to not spending eight hours with them for five days a week. It hit me hard when one of my former colleagues asked me out. I refused fast, without a moment’s hesitation, and my reason had more to do with the fact that I had endured the utter misery of working with him than anything else. Volatile and selfish behavior in a work setting is hardly likely to translate to generosity and strength outside.
The rebound job also has its fair share of colleagues who take indentation styles to heart. I see some other major issues as well. I am hopeful, though, of staying clear away, of being uninvolved. It is suffering to be amidst irrationality, if it is irrationality you don’t share.
In other news, Fall is here. I like the theme of the season. Leaves falling, old things dying, the land getting ready to hibernate for a few months – there is an inwardness about this period that I like. There is a promise of renewal too, that the old will give way to the new, that spring follows winter. I need to plan a trip to see the colors at Tahoe or somewhere in the mountains.
It is also birthday season. Almost everyone I care about, family and non-family, have birthdays in that late October/early November period. That makes it easy to remember gifts or cards.